medicine

working at a place for conventional alternative holistic medicine

cannabis

marijuana

hash

indica

sativa

fruity name after name

i come to a full circle of understanding weed culture

the addictions

the pain

the fear

hmm...the fear...

the fear of allowing your true thoughts out.

an attempt of your soul to break the blocks you have created

...if you are remotely aware

i like to smoke on occasion.

i really enjoy complete meditation when high.

how many people meditate when high?

not many

i feel like it makes me more one with the plant.

human behavior is so interesting when high and in a large group of people whose mental state is way somewhere else...

but i find myself constantly having to shield myself from others energy. way more than usual.

i think it is just because i can feel energy more when high.

people are so unaware and unconscious that they are responsible for their environment.

always.

"this is so awkward"

stop

why?

think:you are responsible for those emotions as well

tarot de sirena

card after card laid down in the sand.

sand crabs jump onto them.

all readings end with success.

success

success

what does that mean?

material?

spiritual?

all i know for truth is that when I finally let go of worry

when i sat down by the ocean waves and wrote a paragraph for my book

everything changed.

the only block to my manifestations was me.

i miss photography.

i was good.

i am good.

i miss my imagination coming out on a piece of dead tree.

i miss capturing time.

i miss the morbidity i transcribed.

i miss going outside with my sister near sunset and making her dress up.

making her jump in a freezing cold pool in January.

making her lie down in the street.

i miss controlling light.

i miss making my poetic lines come to life with a snapshot.

i miss manipulating reality.

i am going to change all of this.

i am going to afford a camera worth artistic endeavors.

i am

i am

i am