The Ultimate Goal

We walk on top of our soul's old temples.
buried deep into Mother Earth.
years, decades, centuries, and eons ago.
Some don't even realize.
A flutter of your heart, a chill down your spine.
"Oh child, someone just walked over your grave!"
That holds more truth than some are willing to admit.

We will know when we come face to face with ourselves.
It is the next human being that walks in the door.
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That should be the ultimate goal.
There is a power balance that is tilted.
It seems that some are just fighting for more power.
And although the oppressed are justified in this quest...
there will never then be the true equality they claim.

The ultimate goal, the ultimate truth...
When you look at another human being you should see yourself reflected back.
no race, no gender, no sexuality, no class, no age, no religion, no differences.

When every single human being can look at one another and see themselves reflected back,
the mirror of pure truth,
then this worldly society will truly be Heaven.

We are all light and love.
Stop seeing the mundane material.

Through the Looking Glass

Goodbye.
I stepped through my mirror today
Just to see.
Looked out the window at the purple leaves
and the spiders having tea.
The sky was red, from passion.
I walked through the window for there were no walls.
"Yeah! When pigs walk!" I heard the elderly girl exclaim.
And sure as stars they were up dancing on clouds.
Shoes for money!
Who woulda thought?
No thorns or stones to prick us now.
Hand me my rainbow quilt,
we'll dive into the sand mirage
And spend the dight and the nay playing dolls.
But don't forget your wising basket to cast.
Please throw away my artificial frown.
Don't forget to see the ice cream man for your cough.
Lemony Lime with a hint of Cherry.
cherry soda pop
Thank you for the remembrance, I'll put it under the tree.
But don't forget to give my love to the mirror world.

Hello.
I stepped through my mirror today.
Just to...live.
Looked out the clouded window at the brown leaves
and the spiders killing the bees.
The sky was blue, but not for long.
I walked through the guilded door, there were no lights this time.
"Yeah, when peace prevails!" I heard a man say.
And sure as death, there were resounds of gunshots.
Lives for money!
That's reality.
No love or smiles to save us now.
Hand me my camouflage.
We'll dive into the mud stained
And spend today and tomorrow playing war.
But don't forget your checkbook and Bible.
Make sure to stomp my smile til it's crooked.
Don't forget to go to the waiting room for your cough.
Antiseptic Advil Zoloft
Coco Cola McDonald's
Thank you for the hate, I'll be sure to pass it on.
But don't forget to give my criticisms to the mirror world.

Goodbye.
I stepped through my mirror today.



(i have never been as proud of a poem before and yet to write one of the same magnitude in my mind.)
-Hailey Pawl 2007

Unearthed

the smell of dirt fills the nostrils of the ancients.

channelling
attempt
now

i can feel them

what guidance do you want me to know?
believe
let others believe
flowers&sunshine

some elders just came in.

living is only the beginning of all things. the universe loves all.
death is only the beginning.

i need to look within more, for all the answers are already there.

I cried Kisses.

I sweated out some hugs.
water in
water out
water heals
water can kill

I cried Blood.
I sweated out some bones.
human in
human out
human heals
human can kill

I cried Bullets.
I sweated out some prisons.
slavery in
slavery out
slavery...
slavery can kill

I cried Racism.
I sweated out some invisible segregation.
hate in
hate out
hate...
hate kills

But then,
I cried Light.
I sweated out some Love.
life in
revolution in
begin in

Light + Love = Healing

Elwin

Step down the sands of time, past the red ant keepers.
and there he was.
cigarette packs, crushed beer cans, broken wine bottles.
poisonous outlets of human pain strewn all around when all they had to do was ask and believe.
pieces of institutionalized wood hammered into the veins.
so much pain wrought onto another living thing without consciousness.
but he was so willing to take others pain.

we made love within the branches and the roots.

he told me it was amusing.

we sat with our backs to him and asked to be healed.
he took away all my debris.

you still have a lot to do in this life. but you are completing.

i feel at home

in the ocean.
time vanishes.

i eat the seaweed.
wear it in my hair.
when the wave crashes, it takes away all my sickness.

i don't want to leave.

i feel at home.

i feel at home with you.
we will be a wonderful family.

HPV

fear


what?


i am joy.
i am love.
i am light.

I AM HEALED.

eyes create like fountains bubble

what have you learned in this life?

Earth is a school.
a school above all other schools.
a school some people do not know they are attending.

Some humans decide to take the harder classes in this life.
some the easier ones.
and some have already lived through the harder classes and the easier ones are their creation.

anyway, it's all up to you which class to take.
your choice.
free will.

"you are the main character in your story. You can change it anytime when you do not like it."

But can you see?
can you see past all your lies you have created?
are you even aware that you are lying to yourself and others?

------------
i woke up from a dream i asked to remember.
i woke up from a dream i asked to have guidance in.

i woke up with the number 500 bouncing around my head.
i woke up with the number 500 uttered from my lips from a deep sleep.
500
500
500

my conscious level....i thought this first.
But the weekend before I had printed out an article on angel numbers by Doreen Virtue.

I do not believe in coincidences.

500
"an important message that let's you know that your life changes are in Divine and perfect order. They are a gift from God and in alignment with God's will for your higher self."




Thank you.

Innocence and The Ocean

I believe that I am new.

Changed.

Two years of sadness and repeated
mistakes.
I've finally burst into cleansing flames.
Came out of my cocoon to see Divine light.

I have changed.
Certain things are not as important to me anymore.
I have a new outlook on this Life.

Two more years.
two more years.

I have decided to not attend graduate school after UCSB because I feel like this institutionalized schooling is a waste of time and life.
All I need to know, I already know.
All I need to learn is within.

Besides, one year later it will be 2012.
I have a feeling Life will be drastically different then.

I can manifest everything I need and want.

I need to remember to stay grounded to this world though.
Sometimes I get so lost in the other dimensions.

My Angels are always with me though.

beLIEve

I am genderless.
I am raceless.
I am classless.
I am sexless.

I am what I believe I am.

But you believe I am something else.

The original sin was lies.
We all live in a big fucking web of lies.
That's why it's so hard to see the truth.
This web of lies sticks and blinds all our eyes.
1st eye
2nd eye
3rd eye

The truth is so simple.
We have all had revelations of the truth.
Sometimes we pass it off.
Sometimes we stop, think, and then laugh at how silly we are.
The truth was right in front of us this entire time.

but our lies have grown so big!
So big that they have taken on their own organism.

in my point of view...
it's no lie when they say for any revolution to occur, it must happen within.

City Lights

city lights dotted across the world
street lamps neon signs
a desperate attempt to recreate the stars above
but the attempt is similar to humanity
blind blinded blindness
an attempt with city lights to recreate the stars while we muffle them from sight
make them hard to find with the human eye just the same as some desperately try to find their own light but are quickly diminished by yet another
"technological advance"
city lights city lights
dotted across the world
street lamps neon signs

notice though how the recreation of stars only occurs in those areas of the world deemed "better richer smarter sufficient happier"
i laugh. laugh. laugh
the recreation of stars is a leap away from true light.

Those "third world" countries are by far the wisest.

I am good enough

NOW.

Birds of a Feather

I find bird feathers EVERYWHERE!

I found an angel feather once too.
I know so because I asked.

I take them as signs, reassurances.
I find at least 5 a day.
I come across them when I least expect it.
But I come across them whenever my thoughts are troubling or Im thinking of God.

I take some home with me.
I wear some in my hair.
They are fairy gifts and I can't just ignore them.

Some might see them as just seagull or pigeon feathers.
But I know who left them there for me.
And it's your loss that you have stabbed your inner child in the heart and gouged out its third eye.

I hope you find comfort...eventually.

Birds of a fether, flock together.
But, baby, I'm a whole new type of bird!

Hot Mess

I think it explains our relationship hahaha!

thoughts bespoken

if we spoke with our mind then lies would cease to exist.

true, our minds and thoughts, kept silent from the outside world, is a haven at times.
but if we all communicated with our minds then a lot more problems than just not having a safe place would disappear.

we would know all intentions. all fears. all happiness.

my chakras need balance.
your chakras need balance.
we can get there together.

blocked

there is this doubt doubt doubt in my mind.
this subconscious doubt and i would also say fear.

i don't know of what though.
its healing light and love that I'm trying to obtain.
this society has affected me more than i knew.
and that scares me because i am one who rebels against society rules and morals.
what is there to say (and hope) for those who follow the status quot then?

i need to get away soon.
i need to meditate more.
i need to love EVERYONE more.
i need to curb my judgements.
my jealousies.
petty shit.

I need more patience.
part of me feels like im just testing the spiritual realm.
which i dont want to do.
I know what is there.

I need to have complete faith and give myself completely over to the universe.

easy does it easy does it.
thats what the fairies told me.

my psychic block can be lifted.

rainbows rainbows rainbows
light

incarnated elementals

its comforting.

starpeople.
angelic realm.
fairies.

they exist.
believe.

you can learn to manifest everything and anything you want.
debt and despair can be no more.

just believe.

...and love.

tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock...tick
words shoot through me, sharp words, leaving open wounds in my flesh flowing crimson blood.
it pools at my feet.
i slip.
i fall helplessly through the rabbit hole.

I dream and it feels so real. so real that i need to force my eyes open to snap back to reality.
i don't remember taking off my clothes...did you?
over and over and over and over and over.

tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock...tick

destroy all watches, all clocks.
then snap back to reality.
the reality where you are one with everything.
your biological clock has been demolished by technology and pills.

You can always learn to love yourself.
i can help you, if you want.
i'm still learning too.
it's not so hard when you are not alone.

remember, i love you.

A Riddle to Question.

101
all i have to do is tilt the steering wheel.
close my eyes.

and finally wake up new.

what would happen after?

i would be saved.

Another year has passed.

and what the fuck have i done?

what am i doing?

that is the ultimate question.
the question i am tired of asking.

the life i am tired of living.

i only truly live in his eyes.
i only truly live with him.

i only live the way i want in my head.
i want my head to crack open.
i want to live the way i want.

i dont want to just be another human being in this fucked up world.