eyes create like fountains bubble

what have you learned in this life?

Earth is a school.
a school above all other schools.
a school some people do not know they are attending.

Some humans decide to take the harder classes in this life.
some the easier ones.
and some have already lived through the harder classes and the easier ones are their creation.

anyway, it's all up to you which class to take.
your choice.
free will.

"you are the main character in your story. You can change it anytime when you do not like it."

But can you see?
can you see past all your lies you have created?
are you even aware that you are lying to yourself and others?

------------
i woke up from a dream i asked to remember.
i woke up from a dream i asked to have guidance in.

i woke up with the number 500 bouncing around my head.
i woke up with the number 500 uttered from my lips from a deep sleep.
500
500
500

my conscious level....i thought this first.
But the weekend before I had printed out an article on angel numbers by Doreen Virtue.

I do not believe in coincidences.

500
"an important message that let's you know that your life changes are in Divine and perfect order. They are a gift from God and in alignment with God's will for your higher self."




Thank you.

Innocence and The Ocean

I believe that I am new.

Changed.

Two years of sadness and repeated
mistakes.
I've finally burst into cleansing flames.
Came out of my cocoon to see Divine light.

I have changed.
Certain things are not as important to me anymore.
I have a new outlook on this Life.

Two more years.
two more years.

I have decided to not attend graduate school after UCSB because I feel like this institutionalized schooling is a waste of time and life.
All I need to know, I already know.
All I need to learn is within.

Besides, one year later it will be 2012.
I have a feeling Life will be drastically different then.

I can manifest everything I need and want.

I need to remember to stay grounded to this world though.
Sometimes I get so lost in the other dimensions.

My Angels are always with me though.

beLIEve

I am genderless.
I am raceless.
I am classless.
I am sexless.

I am what I believe I am.

But you believe I am something else.

The original sin was lies.
We all live in a big fucking web of lies.
That's why it's so hard to see the truth.
This web of lies sticks and blinds all our eyes.
1st eye
2nd eye
3rd eye

The truth is so simple.
We have all had revelations of the truth.
Sometimes we pass it off.
Sometimes we stop, think, and then laugh at how silly we are.
The truth was right in front of us this entire time.

but our lies have grown so big!
So big that they have taken on their own organism.

in my point of view...
it's no lie when they say for any revolution to occur, it must happen within.

City Lights

city lights dotted across the world
street lamps neon signs
a desperate attempt to recreate the stars above
but the attempt is similar to humanity
blind blinded blindness
an attempt with city lights to recreate the stars while we muffle them from sight
make them hard to find with the human eye just the same as some desperately try to find their own light but are quickly diminished by yet another
"technological advance"
city lights city lights
dotted across the world
street lamps neon signs

notice though how the recreation of stars only occurs in those areas of the world deemed "better richer smarter sufficient happier"
i laugh. laugh. laugh
the recreation of stars is a leap away from true light.

Those "third world" countries are by far the wisest.

I am good enough

NOW.

Birds of a Feather

I find bird feathers EVERYWHERE!

I found an angel feather once too.
I know so because I asked.

I take them as signs, reassurances.
I find at least 5 a day.
I come across them when I least expect it.
But I come across them whenever my thoughts are troubling or Im thinking of God.

I take some home with me.
I wear some in my hair.
They are fairy gifts and I can't just ignore them.

Some might see them as just seagull or pigeon feathers.
But I know who left them there for me.
And it's your loss that you have stabbed your inner child in the heart and gouged out its third eye.

I hope you find comfort...eventually.

Birds of a fether, flock together.
But, baby, I'm a whole new type of bird!

Hot Mess

I think it explains our relationship hahaha!

thoughts bespoken

if we spoke with our mind then lies would cease to exist.

true, our minds and thoughts, kept silent from the outside world, is a haven at times.
but if we all communicated with our minds then a lot more problems than just not having a safe place would disappear.

we would know all intentions. all fears. all happiness.

my chakras need balance.
your chakras need balance.
we can get there together.

blocked

there is this doubt doubt doubt in my mind.
this subconscious doubt and i would also say fear.

i don't know of what though.
its healing light and love that I'm trying to obtain.
this society has affected me more than i knew.
and that scares me because i am one who rebels against society rules and morals.
what is there to say (and hope) for those who follow the status quot then?

i need to get away soon.
i need to meditate more.
i need to love EVERYONE more.
i need to curb my judgements.
my jealousies.
petty shit.

I need more patience.
part of me feels like im just testing the spiritual realm.
which i dont want to do.
I know what is there.

I need to have complete faith and give myself completely over to the universe.

easy does it easy does it.
thats what the fairies told me.

my psychic block can be lifted.

rainbows rainbows rainbows
light

incarnated elementals

its comforting.

starpeople.
angelic realm.
fairies.

they exist.
believe.

you can learn to manifest everything and anything you want.
debt and despair can be no more.

just believe.

...and love.

tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock...tick
words shoot through me, sharp words, leaving open wounds in my flesh flowing crimson blood.
it pools at my feet.
i slip.
i fall helplessly through the rabbit hole.

I dream and it feels so real. so real that i need to force my eyes open to snap back to reality.
i don't remember taking off my clothes...did you?
over and over and over and over and over.

tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock...tick

destroy all watches, all clocks.
then snap back to reality.
the reality where you are one with everything.
your biological clock has been demolished by technology and pills.

You can always learn to love yourself.
i can help you, if you want.
i'm still learning too.
it's not so hard when you are not alone.

remember, i love you.

A Riddle to Question.

101
all i have to do is tilt the steering wheel.
close my eyes.

and finally wake up new.

what would happen after?

i would be saved.

Another year has passed.

and what the fuck have i done?

what am i doing?

that is the ultimate question.
the question i am tired of asking.

the life i am tired of living.

i only truly live in his eyes.
i only truly live with him.

i only live the way i want in my head.
i want my head to crack open.
i want to live the way i want.

i dont want to just be another human being in this fucked up world.

Attemptation

one two
blush cheek eye shadow eye mascara lip stick gloss little black dress
all for you?
three four
this society has taught me to talk and think about nothing more
than sex- how to only please my man (?)-
nothing more than how pink is the new orange.
And "OMG! Did you see what that skank was wearing?"
please...What a fucking bore!

Womyn perpetuate and perpetuate this cycle of a make-upped self hate.
They have entered our brains with images in magazine ads of stick thin barbies-images that you must die your hair blond, that you must be white but spend $15 twice a week to get your spray tan.
They have replaced our brains with television screens to the point where we womyn cannot even anymore relate.

Well my television screen has long been broke and kicked out to the street.
You see my heart has its own rhythm now. It is NO longer synchronized to that new rap song they play on the radio about how womyn are just there to rape and beat.
no.
no.
no.

Feminism is hot.
But how do we expect this feminist movement to thrive in such a patriarchal sexist and racist society
when we have not had a revolution within ourselves yet.
We still conform to their set propriety.

Wake up! Beautiful Womyn! Wake up!

I dress to impress

the inner goddess
looming in my chest.

All I want to do in life is go on one big crayon drawing-poem writing-rainbow bus driving-guitar playing-love making with my soul mating-skinny dipping-just living quest.

I don't fancy your politico-economico talk.
You don't impress me. You give me no vital shock.
I already see the bullshit mess this New World Order has us in.
I can fight and fight and fight but if you don't open your eyes and see the truth then how the fuck do I expect to win?

I'm tired.
Tired of the racism-sexism-classism-bigotism-hypocritism-negativism.

This energy creeps into me.
Sucking me dry, allowing me to never be
completely free.

That is why I must escape.
I must escape to a life some in cubicles only dream about.

You see, once you strip away your need for material comfort.
Material support.
That life is no longer a dream.

Just give me a few dresses and sweaters, hand knit scarves and a good pair of jeans.
Just give me a camera, a guitar, a notebook and some pens.
Just allow me to have my books and one blanket.
Just let me live with my darling and let my family thrive in a forest by the sea.

I eat my love everyday, all day.
And that's all I need.

Dancing Sun

I have ancestors.
People of the Creek.
Indian.
I have native ancestors who were birthed from this land, this land known as the United States of America.
Land of the Free.
Free. Free? Freedom.
My ancestors were truly free. They took only what they needed. They praised Mother Earth. And she in turn protected and provided for them.
My ancestors were spiritual. They saw the unseen forces. They saw the inner workings of creation.
But now this land has hidden its secrets from all who live on it. Now this land cries.
My ancestors are no longer free.
A white race declared themselves supreme.
More superior than Mother Nature herself.
I resemble this white race.
My skin is that of snow.
I get the privileges of having a skin with no color.
Because my great great grandmother married a white man.
Married a white man to survive.
I have not experienced the hate of racism personally.
But I see it.
My ancestors live on through my eyes.
My eyes have seen. My ears have heard. My soul has felt.
And my ancestors will not let me stand still and watch this hate filled world go by.
Whiteness is the most evil weapon this world has endured.
That is still enduring.
Native “Americans” and all other beautiful people of color are tokenized, discriminatized, brutalized, and hypnotized to hate themselves by this power structure called whiteness.
My ancestors will not let me sleep.
Will not let me breathe if I do nothing.
That is why I must fight.
I must use this skin of no color to my advantage to tear down this invisible institution of racism.
My ancestors have opened my eyes.
My ancestors.
People of the Creek.

Champion McConnell,

I very much well want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Love,
Hailey

"people of color can't do that."

self fulfilling prophecy right there.

I will yell at the po.
I will say what ever i want.
Racist white motherfuckers.
thats what i said.
You can say whatever the fuck you want to the police.

But according to her people of color can't do that.

you are fearful.

Fear allows the police state to thrive.
If people of color don't stand up to the abuse dished out by cops, then who will?
White people are largely ignorant.
The majority of them won't do it.

Stop letting fear rule your life.
Weak.

They have brainwashed you to be fearful.
Fuck them and fuck you.
What are you scared of?
death?
You are going to die no matter what.

Take back the night.
those seem more like words than anything else.

How about some action?

Stop being silenced. You are doing it to yourself. so you are the only one who can stop it.

"Well not everyone has the courage to do that. It's not that easy."
Self
fulfilling
prophecy.

Stand up for yourself.
If everyone did that.
There would be a fucking revolution.

Human beings make me sick.
you make me sick

the biggest mistake is putting any trust in the police.
Police have no rights to do anything.

Police are violence.
Police are fear.

Get rid of the fear. Take back your identity.

Stop making excuses.
Learn to use your fucking voice.

Mermaid Tarot

cry cry cry cry cry cry cry!

skin moist with ocean spray.

Strength.
8th card.
Sum.

I will overcome all with my strength and optimism.
Why worry then?

I still do.

I want to be a spiritual teacher.

I opened myself up to forces unseen and let the pendulum dangle.
She knows about me and him.
She is aware of the love and soul connnection we have.
She doesn't even truly like him.
She is going to do something to me emotionally to hurt me.
She is going to show her truth.

I don't know what will happen.

I think I will know when she will do this confrontation.
I just want to stare into her eyes and laugh though when that time comes.
She isn't doing it with hostility.
It will be a friendly approach.
But I don't care.
No simple female like her will break our bond.
No male has done it. No female will do it.
We transcend gender.
We transcend.
We have a bond that knows the earliest of history.

Sorry. He loves me.
I love him.
Soul mates.
Enough said.

NOW goodbye.
Have a nice life.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Lady Green Moth

Lady Green!
Lady Green!

You sit so peacefully on the bathroom wall.
Wings folded protecting your heart when you are grounded.
When you touch base with reality.

But when you fly...
Oh Lady Green!
When you open up your wings and fly, soar into the blue third eye of Mother Nature, you let your heart, your soul remain unprotected.

You know, I am not that different from you Lady Green Moth.
I too leave my heart unprotected at times.
I think it is healthy.

Yes.
I converse this with you.
You just sit there so stoically.
I know you understand me though.
You are a soul.

Hopefully, soon, I won't be flying alone.
Hopefully, soon, he will kiss me again and fly with me.

I feel like you understand.
Lady Green, you prefer flying as much as I do.