Story Book

So my sister called me.
She told me her story of how she got really high and passed out 3 times.
I laughed.
"Be careful."

Then she told me something about him.
Jenn saw him at a high school dance.
With the girl that always gave me bad vibes.
I now have justification.

Why are you still stuck in high school?
You are so creative.
You are meant to live a larger life...

I can read peoples vibes very well.
I think it's because I am so observant.
Faces cannot lie.
Eyes cannot lie.
The tone of your voice cannot lie.
Your energy cannot lie.

I thought I just didn't like her because she was a girl flirting with my boyfriend at the time.
But I am not a jealous person.
It was my insecurities that have built up inside of me that split our connection.

I have no right to be upset or mad.
No right at all.
Especially looking at my actions and thoughts.
But why her?

Fuck!

I WANT IT ALL TO JUST STOP!

I want the wind to take away my soul.
I want to scream and let my love escape.
I want to...
i want to...

Just start new.

But Life never works out like that.

Whatever happened to "Life is easy with eyes closed. Misunderstanding all you see."

I want to go back to Strawberry Fields Forever sometimes.

But my eyes have been torn OPEN.
I am ever changing.
Everyday.

I can never go back in time with what I know now.
With what I have done now.

Never.