tExxxxT

"I love you hailey. I love you so much im going to see to it you're emotionally independent so the best of hailey will shine everyday independently in any circumstances. I promise. But you must be mindful until then".

Thank you.

My mmmmm mmmind is a fast track.
Overthinking. Overanalyzing.
Is it me?
Is it me?
"What the fuck is wrong with me?!"
I yelled to the only star I could see.
I was beginning to be fine.
But then he came along.
He screwed up.
No sorry....
I screwed it up.
Old habits die hard.
Fuck this.
I need to be happy alone.
alone.
alone.
solace.
I used to be independently emotional.
What the fuck happened to me?
I think it is a mixture of things that I need to finally come face to face with.

I want it to be next year already.
But when I think about it.
I want it to be next year because I feel like I can start new.
But it needs to start NOW! NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!

My grandpa's mind is withering away.
Last night he peed in the hallway.
He thought it was the bathroom.
He is scared.
I would be too.
I am scared.
I am scared for my mom.
I am scared for my grandpa.
I am scared for my family.

It will all be OK in the end.

Yeah...I keep telling myself that.