innocence is not really innocence all the time.
love plays a large role in interpreting who is true,
for truth is love and love is truth.
realize that all is good.
the so called "evil" is controllable for it is within the human ego.

your third eye burns to see passion done.
for all.
you will not always need cannabis to concentrate.
your true focus is always there.
it is helping you release your fears within.

listen to him more intently, darling, for he too was once your teacher. (Champion)

throat chakra, writing abilities...call upon Gabriel.
She will heal.

see yourself with more love.
see others with more love.

always feel your wings flapping for you one day will fly again.
practice controlling your energy more.
you already know how to do this.
routine.

love

cats, bluebird, lion, ostrich (?)= power animals

call upon unicorns more

when you second guess your aura colors on others you close yourself up.
feel to see the energy
doubt is your worst enemy

ask joan about cats.

legumes, dried fruit, less alcohol, white bread and pasta.
run on beach

-Susan (channelled)

creature of the night.

being of the night.

soak up the rays of moon.

"just do it"

jacket

shirt

pants

underwear

off

run run run run run run run run run run run

our bodies coincide with your dark blue energy.

healing love.

i raise my voice in a protesting scream,

that quickly turns to laughter.

you dive in.

run run run run run run run run

i follow.

"don't get dressed yet!"

stand and absorb the healing power of the goddess.

hers is the only light around.

this is timeless.

we are free.

put our clothes back on in a frenzy.

shake out the sand.

we walk back to my apartment to most likely cuddle and watch a movie.

hand in hand.

let's stay like this forever.

"And any time you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder."

the music i found through a passion i once knew before never changed as i changed.

yet as my thoughts and understanding of this society change and constantly evolve...
the people i want to surround myself with changes.
changes constantly for i am always changing rapidly how i view things.
2
3
4
years.

i need to change the humans.
sometimes i don't want to but they are changing differently than i or not at all.
they come to a plateau of mundane standstill.

i asked you all
and you told me spiritual teacher
but what does that mean?
how do i do that when i find it hard to listen to their words?

please show me
is this a change i need?
or am i overreacting?
allowing my ego feelings to once again take control?

i guess...
i am just asking for your help now.
help to learn and help to teach.

"You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
for a little peace of mind."

i know you all will be there.

ccold ccold cold
shivers course through my body

i am drawing myself away from people i once knew and cherished deeply.
i don't know why.
my life lesson. (sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss)

i will never stop learning.
i will never stop changing.

patience.
i need to practice.

my deeper parts of my soul has always resisted the norm.
they all think i have conformed.
people i know i don't really know and they don't know me at all.

i am the only one who truly knows me and even that is still a mystery.

so much turmoil going on all around me.
people getting angry, frustrated, hurt.
i still get the anger i once knew a few years ago but it has learned to be replaced.

with all this happening,
i still feel deep down that there is nothing to be afraid of.
everything will be ok.

don't be too afraid.
don't be too sad.

oh, happiness.
how do you show others this forgiveness?

two thought and thousand 12/12/

everyone who is everyone is right about their theory.
end of the world?
end of time?
it's going to seem that way.

everything must reach a peak of no return before it starts to level out again.
peace.

we are living the peak of hell's mountain right now.

Greed and evil must make itself so overt and unbearable for humans to all finally stand up and say enough is enough.
but another thought...
what if it's not becoming more overt?
what if humans are just becoming more aware?
their awareness making the evil seen.
spiritual awakening?

we are all about to live out some interesting times.
times before time does not exist anymore.

Celestine
Gaia
Estrella
Skye
Griffyn
Aliyana
Poet
Maeve
Michael
Raphael
Ariel
Jude
Moon
Cecilia
Pan
Story
Sunny
Nirvana
Lennon
Malcolm
Salvador



Who knows what name you will be given my beautiful babies?

I think I will know when my soul physically meets yours.

Oh!

i want to run through the forests
pet the unicorns
fly with the bluebirds
paint with the butterflies
with Ariel by my side.

i want to stand up for those who can't
climb the highest rainbow
walk the streets without fear
jump down the waterfall
with Michael by my side.

i want to express my truth to those i love
know complete forgiveness
love
with Uriel by my side.

i want to heal his heart ultimately
wipe away all those tears
eradicate the scars humans have caused
obliterate pain we create
with Raphael by my side.

i want to give birth to new lives
know the love a mother knows
show the love i know her and i have
with Gabriel by my side.

i want to drift on music notes
help him change the hearts
heal the negativity
with Chamuel by my side.

i want to open all my chakras
have no doubt
see, hear, feel, think
with Raziel by my side.

i would be nothing without you by my side, beautiful angels.

goodnight, i love you.

Begin

banana cream pie
Land Before Time

yeah, that must have been nice.
2012 2012 2012 2012 2012 2012 2012 2012
the last man made year?

Bluebird come take me away.
Fly me to the moon.
moon
moon moon moon
goddess.

black doll with the ash face.
brown bunny
b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b

i will walk barefoot to my death.
or should i say my being.

i am jealous of those who "die"
for a moment....
then i am happy.
they have completed their purpose, learned their lessons.
i will soon join them...
my work is just not yet done.

i may cry some tears but i simply see that as a human accommodation thing to do.
my ego cries.
my higher self rejoices.

death as a human is a curious thing.
the energy depletion shock, the loss of the material is the only thing that will hurt the ego.

i am not afraid of leaving this life.

i honestly can not wait.

but i have yet served my purpose here.
there are still people i need to teach.
there are still people that need to teach me.

it is so comforting to think of being rid of this body one day.
to be in Heaven, free.
more free than i even know what it means.

i wonder what it is like all the time.

GROUND YOURSELF.

i know,
present,
i am here now.

i do not

end

Lightning Bolt

Shark Attack.
Heart Attack.

The number one killer is terrorism....oB(ush)ama

what is change?
what is hope?
Can it be found in one single human being?

Or are they simply the spark to the powder keg of humanity's truth?
But then, what is truth?

My truth does not match your truth.

And, can those sparks of fire be false?
man-made versus nature

i like to listen to humans voices floating in sync with heaven.
Chamuel, free us please.
i like to lie here listening to God's music, forgetting what i can not change.

They say music eliminates and balances energies.
But, what music do you choose to listen to?

Light blue auras mean clairaudience.
Please Michael take away my remaining doubt, I sometimes think I am still talking to myself.

"But is not Heaven within you?"

I see them. I see my beautiful angels always.
They whisper in my ears.
They stroke my hair as i fall asleep.
They sit in the back of my car as i drive home at midnight, scrunched up so that i can't help but laugh.
They stand by my side as i lay on the doctor's table.
They come when i know i have made a mistake.
They come when my past catches up to me.

They are here right now.

The Ultimate Goal

We walk on top of our soul's old temples.
buried deep into Mother Earth.
years, decades, centuries, and eons ago.
Some don't even realize.
A flutter of your heart, a chill down your spine.
"Oh child, someone just walked over your grave!"
That holds more truth than some are willing to admit.

We will know when we come face to face with ourselves.
It is the next human being that walks in the door.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
That should be the ultimate goal.
There is a power balance that is tilted.
It seems that some are just fighting for more power.
And although the oppressed are justified in this quest...
there will never then be the true equality they claim.

The ultimate goal, the ultimate truth...
When you look at another human being you should see yourself reflected back.
no race, no gender, no sexuality, no class, no age, no religion, no differences.

When every single human being can look at one another and see themselves reflected back,
the mirror of pure truth,
then this worldly society will truly be Heaven.

We are all light and love.
Stop seeing the mundane material.

Through the Looking Glass

Goodbye.
I stepped through my mirror today
Just to see.
Looked out the window at the purple leaves
and the spiders having tea.
The sky was red, from passion.
I walked through the window for there were no walls.
"Yeah! When pigs walk!" I heard the elderly girl exclaim.
And sure as stars they were up dancing on clouds.
Shoes for money!
Who woulda thought?
No thorns or stones to prick us now.
Hand me my rainbow quilt,
we'll dive into the sand mirage
And spend the dight and the nay playing dolls.
But don't forget your wising basket to cast.
Please throw away my artificial frown.
Don't forget to see the ice cream man for your cough.
Lemony Lime with a hint of Cherry.
cherry soda pop
Thank you for the remembrance, I'll put it under the tree.
But don't forget to give my love to the mirror world.

Hello.
I stepped through my mirror today.
Just to...live.
Looked out the clouded window at the brown leaves
and the spiders killing the bees.
The sky was blue, but not for long.
I walked through the guilded door, there were no lights this time.
"Yeah, when peace prevails!" I heard a man say.
And sure as death, there were resounds of gunshots.
Lives for money!
That's reality.
No love or smiles to save us now.
Hand me my camouflage.
We'll dive into the mud stained
And spend today and tomorrow playing war.
But don't forget your checkbook and Bible.
Make sure to stomp my smile til it's crooked.
Don't forget to go to the waiting room for your cough.
Antiseptic Advil Zoloft
Coco Cola McDonald's
Thank you for the hate, I'll be sure to pass it on.
But don't forget to give my criticisms to the mirror world.

Goodbye.
I stepped through my mirror today.



(i have never been as proud of a poem before and yet to write one of the same magnitude in my mind.)
-Hailey Pawl 2007

Unearthed

the smell of dirt fills the nostrils of the ancients.

channelling
attempt
now

i can feel them

what guidance do you want me to know?
believe
let others believe
flowers&sunshine

some elders just came in.

living is only the beginning of all things. the universe loves all.
death is only the beginning.

i need to look within more, for all the answers are already there.

I cried Kisses.

I sweated out some hugs.
water in
water out
water heals
water can kill

I cried Blood.
I sweated out some bones.
human in
human out
human heals
human can kill

I cried Bullets.
I sweated out some prisons.
slavery in
slavery out
slavery...
slavery can kill

I cried Racism.
I sweated out some invisible segregation.
hate in
hate out
hate...
hate kills

But then,
I cried Light.
I sweated out some Love.
life in
revolution in
begin in

Light + Love = Healing

Elwin

Step down the sands of time, past the red ant keepers.
and there he was.
cigarette packs, crushed beer cans, broken wine bottles.
poisonous outlets of human pain strewn all around when all they had to do was ask and believe.
pieces of institutionalized wood hammered into the veins.
so much pain wrought onto another living thing without consciousness.
but he was so willing to take others pain.

we made love within the branches and the roots.

he told me it was amusing.

we sat with our backs to him and asked to be healed.
he took away all my debris.

you still have a lot to do in this life. but you are completing.

i feel at home

in the ocean.
time vanishes.

i eat the seaweed.
wear it in my hair.
when the wave crashes, it takes away all my sickness.

i don't want to leave.

i feel at home.

i feel at home with you.
we will be a wonderful family.

HPV

fear


what?


i am joy.
i am love.
i am light.

I AM HEALED.

eyes create like fountains bubble

what have you learned in this life?

Earth is a school.
a school above all other schools.
a school some people do not know they are attending.

Some humans decide to take the harder classes in this life.
some the easier ones.
and some have already lived through the harder classes and the easier ones are their creation.

anyway, it's all up to you which class to take.
your choice.
free will.

"you are the main character in your story. You can change it anytime when you do not like it."

But can you see?
can you see past all your lies you have created?
are you even aware that you are lying to yourself and others?

------------
i woke up from a dream i asked to remember.
i woke up from a dream i asked to have guidance in.

i woke up with the number 500 bouncing around my head.
i woke up with the number 500 uttered from my lips from a deep sleep.
500
500
500

my conscious level....i thought this first.
But the weekend before I had printed out an article on angel numbers by Doreen Virtue.

I do not believe in coincidences.

500
"an important message that let's you know that your life changes are in Divine and perfect order. They are a gift from God and in alignment with God's will for your higher self."




Thank you.

Innocence and The Ocean

I believe that I am new.

Changed.

Two years of sadness and repeated
mistakes.
I've finally burst into cleansing flames.
Came out of my cocoon to see Divine light.

I have changed.
Certain things are not as important to me anymore.
I have a new outlook on this Life.

Two more years.
two more years.

I have decided to not attend graduate school after UCSB because I feel like this institutionalized schooling is a waste of time and life.
All I need to know, I already know.
All I need to learn is within.

Besides, one year later it will be 2012.
I have a feeling Life will be drastically different then.

I can manifest everything I need and want.

I need to remember to stay grounded to this world though.
Sometimes I get so lost in the other dimensions.

My Angels are always with me though.

beLIEve

I am genderless.
I am raceless.
I am classless.
I am sexless.

I am what I believe I am.

But you believe I am something else.

The original sin was lies.
We all live in a big fucking web of lies.
That's why it's so hard to see the truth.
This web of lies sticks and blinds all our eyes.
1st eye
2nd eye
3rd eye

The truth is so simple.
We have all had revelations of the truth.
Sometimes we pass it off.
Sometimes we stop, think, and then laugh at how silly we are.
The truth was right in front of us this entire time.

but our lies have grown so big!
So big that they have taken on their own organism.

in my point of view...
it's no lie when they say for any revolution to occur, it must happen within.

City Lights

city lights dotted across the world
street lamps neon signs
a desperate attempt to recreate the stars above
but the attempt is similar to humanity
blind blinded blindness
an attempt with city lights to recreate the stars while we muffle them from sight
make them hard to find with the human eye just the same as some desperately try to find their own light but are quickly diminished by yet another
"technological advance"
city lights city lights
dotted across the world
street lamps neon signs

notice though how the recreation of stars only occurs in those areas of the world deemed "better richer smarter sufficient happier"
i laugh. laugh. laugh
the recreation of stars is a leap away from true light.

Those "third world" countries are by far the wisest.